up until last week, i was a full time mother. previous to that, i was a professional fundraiser. previous to that, i was a full time student. now, more than ever, it seems to me that we are defined by what we ‘do’
now, my job is to lie still. this could be my most important job yet, and definitely the most difficult. it doesn’t even require an advanced degree. it doesn’t seem all that difficult. just don’t get out of bed. easy, right? not so…
i can’t lift dorothy up, i can’t change her diaper or encourage her to pee on the potty. can’t nake breakfast, lunch, snack or dinner. can’t clean up. can’t go to the park or pool.
i can go to the bathroom, take a quick shower, get something to drink. thats about it.
so far, all this ‘work’ is paying off. my cervix is longer, and the doctor doesn’t want to see me for 2 weeks. great news. REALLY GREAT NEWS.
it kills me when i send dorothy out to eat at the table, or for some activity with kathy or david. considering all the changes, she seems to be handling all of this really well.
and david…he is so great. cooking, cleaning, taking dorothy out, taking care of me, and doing it all with a smile. i know he’s tired after a full day at work, but he just keeps on doing what needs to be done.
so, my job…is to lie here and take care of these two lives that i’ve got inside of me.